Everyone's a little Irish on St. Patrick's day (...except of course for gays and Italians). But as luck would have it, 24 year-old Tommy Murphio is both Irish and Italian. This bizarre amalgam of genetic misanthropy is puzzling to anthropologists and sociologists alike, most taken aback by the striking contrast of his hair and skin color.Murphio has a certain understated pride when he speaks of his heritage, recalling how his ancestors 'totally drank', and some awesome mobster movies he's seen. Although he admits drinking is still cool without being Irish, it certainly doesn't hurt. He also jokes about his heritage, calling himself a 'McWop'. Clever and irreverent, Murphio's humor still conjures revolting imagery of some greasy corned beef-Parmesan fast-food concoction. Nevertheless, most are not fortunate enough to get to party on St. Patrick's day and St. Josephs day.
"I get wasted from Wednesday through Sunday. Everyone is getting cocked, making a ton of food. I love being Irish and Italian! It's like a free pass." says Murphio."...and my girl is French and Native American so if we ever have kids, they're gonna get to celebrate Bastille day and whatever the Indians do too. Pow-wow's and shit, I guess. Now if we can get some blacks and Jews in my family, we'll be like citizens of the world, and together we'll be virtually incapable of prejudice, and impervious to racism, and get to party year round!"
Although Murphio's lofty aspirations for civil harmony across the globe seem implausible and fueled by a state inebriated mania, his ethnic rights to party are undeniable, and he takes full advantage of it.
No comments:
Post a Comment