Forty-eight year old Domenic Naccari has been playing the circuit around Bengal's Lounge since it opened in the late seventies. He's become a favorite at the club, and he's an integral part of the social network as the guy everybody kind of knows. Naccari has developed a reputation as a smooth character with savoir faire. He has a penchant for the finer things in life, fine liquor, fine dining, and fine women."It was Tuesday I think. I was having my usual dinner of chicken wings and fries at the bar when this lovely woman came in and sat down a few seats over from me..." explains Naccari. "I licked my fingers clean, finished my 7&7, and sidled over to her..."
"Do you come her often?" asked Naccari coyly, knowing full well she does not, because he surely would have seen her before.
"No." replied the woman, who quickly began thumbing diligently on her cell phone and fumbling to light a cigarette, suggesting a nervous and defensive posture in a subtle effort to create a distraction and hinder any momentum of a conversation starting. However, Naccari was cleverly prepared and promptly extended his arm to light her cigarette. Now the woman was obliged to verbally express gratitude.
"Hmpf. Thank you." the woman uttered reluctantly, but countered by abruptly standing up and saying "Excuse me." -then briskly proceeding to the restroom.
"Some greasy fuck who bathes in Drakkar Noir and wears cheesy fake gold necklaces is trying to hit on me at the bar." -complained the woman to a fellow patron in the ladies room, who sympathetically suggested "Just tell him you're a lesbian, that always works for me." Now armed with a fresh line of defense, the woman headed back. Naccari had now moved his seat next to hers in eager anticipation of her return.
"Well hello." Naccari said in a smarmy tone. "Can I buy you a drink?" he asked.
"Uh, I'm just waiting for my girlfriend. We're like, lesbians together." the woman hastily blurted out.
"Really?" Naccari inquired with enthusiastic interest . "What's that like?" he continued, as the woman realized her tragic error. Her plan to repel Naccari backfired, leaving her helplessly engaged in a painful dialogue with perverse overtones. Naccari, a self-proclaimed 'pro with the ladies', had tactfully done it again saying "Hey, if you can't break the ice, build an ice road."-a truly insightful wisdom-pearl from a man that basically lives in a bar.
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