YOU SAW MY BLINKER BITCH.....OHH, NO YOU DIDN'T

I’m going to put this out there because I’m sick of seeing that grimace in my rear view mirror, your hands swinging about your car’s interior as you mouth all type of obscenities. Signaling your turns is for cowards and bitches. Not only does not signaling add a sense of mystery to how others perceive you. It also shows how cool you are in your total disregard for others’ safety.

Just in case no one else knows how important you are, this is like a quick jab to the nose using your brakes. Oops, Sreeeeeech! There’s my turn. Gets the blood pumping. I just brought some excitement to your mundane existence. That should be a Honk! Of appreciation, and my finger a salutatory gesture. I’m the best thing that’s going to happen to you all day.

Besides, it just to damn hard to hit that switch that is inconveniently placed in an area where my hands are supposed to be. Now if the signal was on my phone so I could hit it while I’m texting. Or if the switch were integrated into the center consol so I can hit in-between scratching my crotch and playing with the radio. I mean it’s all about ergonomics people. Listen, you can’t just design things and tell people how it should be used. You need to design them for how they WILL be used. It’s so easy; I mean like a turn should really surprise anyone, anyway. What else am I going to do? There aren’t many options are there folks? I’m either going straight or taking a turn. How does this surprise anyone? Unless I were to throw in a sudden reverse, that might even get me.

It comes down to me living my life carefree. It’s only natural that this mentality would carry over to every facet of my day-to-day routine. Hence split second decisions while commuting. I don’t like this lane, there’s something about it, just doesn’t feel right. A quick jerk of the wheel, some swerving traffic and they curse my taillights. That’s better, smooth driving from hear on out. Screeeeeech! Whoa, those exits really sneak up on you. J.B.