STUDY REVEALS QUALITY OF LIFE DECLINING

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A recent study conducted by Steve Genderson, a 30 year old claims adjuster from Wilks-Barre, PA, reveals the quality of his life has declined in recent years.

"It all started when I was born" he said "Things were really good, until I got to Junior High. I broke out really bad and everyone called me names like 'pizza face' and 'tasty cakes'. Eventually, my life improved when I graduated and went to college. This was by far the best time in my life, as you can see the chart clearly indicates..."

Genderson attributed the relatively short lived period of excellence in his life to his acne clearing up, parental subsidization, and reckless substance abuse.

"Then, I graduated college. It was the climax of my life. Soon after I got a job at an insurance company as a claims adjuster and everything went down hill fast. I have to get up and drive to this building everyday, and sit there with a bunch of lame assholes, and if you don't show up they're dicks about it. Sometimes they make me do things too. It's really not fun at all."

Steve's life did improve slightly however, when he met his wife during happy hour one day after work.

"She was cool and everything for a while, but after she made those people that live with us now, I found myself spending more and more time at happy hour."

That's where Steve's situation became more complex. "I met this other woman at happy hour, and the next thing I know now she's making more people too...I really hate my fucking life right now."