IT SUCKS BEING THE ONLY ONE WITH GOOD TASTE

That heading is so important that I’m going to make it easier for you to grasp where I am heading with this article by repeating it. Even though the redundancy of repeating it makes me slightly nauseous, so does trying to communicate with you bunch of apes.

It sucks being the only one with good taste. My wife just does not understand how lucky she is. Not only is she blessed with a well-mannered and handsome husband, but I also have impeccable taste. I know this is not a shock to you. Not like it is to me, that you can actually recognize the letters that are used to make words, which in turn populate the sentences that communicate my thoughts. I know, wow.

This gift comes out in all facets of my life, easily recognized by how I spend my free time and what I find entertaining. I know that what I am about to impart to you may be difficult for your feeble minds to fully encompass. Spending hours a day wrestling doorknobs can take its toll. So this may shock you out of your haze of stupidity and dullness. Do not fret, this enlightenment will only last for a few seconds and the pain of absorbing knowledge will subside quickly. Soon you will be relinquished back to comforting fart cloud of obliviousness that surrounds that twisted and dented melon God deemed worthy enough to scribble a face on.

Are you ready? Wipe the drool from your lip and try to stop diddling yourself. Here it goes. VIDEO GAMES ARE AWESOME! There it is. Did you absorb it? Embracing this fact and incorporating it into every portion of your miserable existence is the key. The Key!J.B.