Marlon Tasler and Tammy Brakeen have been a couple for nearly seventeen months and have been cohabiting for just over a year. They met at a New Year's Eve party of a mutual friend, and after a night of heavy drinking and feigned interest in one another, they made love in their friend's bedroom. To avoid awkwardness the following morning, they continued to be nice to each other. Marlon didn't want to seem like a douche bag and Tammy didn't want to look like a slut, but in reality they were.Marlon recalls-"She was like roommates with this girl Caitlin my friend Dustin was trying to hook up with, and he introduced me to Tammy to get her to stop third wheeling on all their dates and always putting the cock-block on him so he could finally get with Catlin. I didn't want to be a dick and just leave. Dustin got me laid, so it was the least I could to help him get laid, you know? That's like, Bro-Code."
Tammy remembers the same night- "Caitlin was being a bitch and kept ignoring me for Dustin all night. I was totally jealous of her. Then Dustin tries to pawn his ugly friend on me. He wasn't that ugly, I mean I've done way worse, but he was kind of fat and had bad skin. He was nice. He asked me a lot of questions and wouldn't leave me alone. By midnight we were both pretty drunk and when the ball dropped I realized that everyone else at the party was celebrating with someone else. I didn't want to be alone too so we started making out. The next thing you know we were waking up in Caitlin's bedroom."
"We just started dating" Marlon said. The convenient friend couple dynamic the foursome created seemed to make sense to Marlon and Tammy and also to Dustin, who was still trying to get with Caitlin.
"Once Caitlin and Dustin finally hooked up it wasn't really cool to hang out at the apartment anymore so we eventually got out own place." said Tammy.
Tasler and Brakeen continued their relationship in spite of the fact that they don't particularly care for one another and share few common interests. "We basically just watch a lot of TV. Sometimes we go out to eat." explains Brakeen. "I can't really afford to live by myself and she gives it up pretty regularly so, whatever." Tasler says.
However, in recent months Tasler has been reconsidering his options. "Dustin met this unbelievable chick at Subway and like immediately dumped Caitlin. That's how hot she was. Now he's got the phat new place on the East Side and he's looking for a roommate. Plus, his new girls got mad hot friends."
Tammy sensed Marlon had been growing distant, and tried to evoke involvement from him by withholding sex but her plan ultimately backfired. Tasler described the situation "I decided I had to get the fuck out of there. Tammy's always complaining about headaches lately and Dustin's been telling me about all these kick ass parties I'm missing, so one night during American Idol I just went for it. During the commercial I lowered the volume and said 'listen, Tammy, I don't think this is working out...'" -but Tammy, jaded from a series of unsuccessful relationships, refused to be dumped again and stopped him before he could continue.
"I wasn't going to let him ruin my 'Idol night'." Brackeen said "Besides, I've put way to much work into him to just give up now. I mean, he's lost 20 pounds, cleared up his acne, he's actually pretty tolerable now. He's still an idiot, but whatever, he takes out the garbage. I knew what I had to do."
"Then she says 'oh excuse me honey' and gets up to go to the bathroom right as I'm about to break up with her. When she came back, her hair was in a scrunchy. I knew what that meant. I weighed out my options at that moment and figured it could wait."
Tasler and Brakeen are still going strong.
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