herb hernandez here.

in the middle of february you can notice several things. The sun stays out a bit longer. the snow melts faster. We can all start to feel spring upon us. Black people have only 28 days not a full 30 0r 31 to embrace there cultural heritage. Us spaniards don't even have a day, so way to go blacks. But most importantly its the month of love. Valentines day is fast approaching. The shopping marts are riddled with red hearts and candy. Florists are backed up with orders. Commercials botched up with how to spend on your loved one. Well Herb Hernandez here has a different tradition. Each year i pick one or a few of my favorite love songs and dance and sing while in costume. For everyone to see. A public dedication to love. Last year i was rockin out to whats her name there the bitch who got smacked in the car, rhinoah? yeah her. other gems i chose were such acts as Hall and Oats' entire catalog, just because i used to think that they were the same people as siegfried and roy, and i love tigers. or what about Ligres? thats science right there. the year before that was ricky martin's livin la vida loca. That was just a dedication to the greatest spanish recording artist of all time. well this year i brought back the nostalgia and ran with Sade's no ordinary love. mainly because i love mermaids. remember that? she was a mermaid in the video. and i love mermaids, but really they are just manatees. Damn fool's gold! I prepared my costume a few days ago. its a merman costume with red sequins. i have got one of those Rasta bob marley dread lock hats, and a serious spray tan lubed on. you might be wondering now what i may be wearing as for a shirt or blouse...well have no fear Herb Hernandez here is goin topless. yeah its cold. sure its windy. but love is a bitter road and Herb Hernandez here is GOIN TOPLESS!!! its a goddamn metaphor.

Now to set the stage. There is a little park with a play set, a rope gym, and a real kick ass slide. Also it has a boulder which is a like earths natural stage for me. This is where Herb Hernandez here chose to set up shop. i made some final adjustments to my amplifier, found my Music for the elegant tune and hit the road. It was a bumpy road for sure. First, as i exited my car i fell in some crusty salty snow. the merman suit is really hard to walk in. and then the salt and the spray tan stuff started to have some sort of chemical reaction. but i marched on. or waddled. and it starts. the synth...can you feel that synth!! "i gave you all the love i got i gave you more than i could give..." 4 and a half minutes later...officers arrive"SIR GET DOWN FROM THERE NOW!! CHILDREN PLAY HERE SIR"yeah you know what i said "FUCK YOU OFFICER!! its my god given right to bless these people with SADE!!" but i guess choosing to sing at a children's playground may not have been the best decision. Honestly i don't know how i have been making it this far. But such hurtful words i never thought could be sent my way.

Well Herb Hernandez here just getting home from the station. 2010 valentines day season hasn't been a good one. the spray tan and salt reaction has given me like some sort of body herpes. The officers really roughed me up this year. I lost my Rasta wig. my brother's gonna be pissed about that one. and then i actually got herpes from the station. and i am being charged with some child pornography crap. you were right Sade...this is no ordinary love. Herb Hernandez here...battling the ninja.