After a romantic Valentines dinner celebration Sunday evening, Carl Pilkington and his girlfriend of 9 months Sarah Weinstadt, took in a movie downtown at the cineplex."She wanted to see 'The Unchained Heart' a heroic tale of love and honor" said Pilkington "I wanted to see 'Born to Die' the new Vin Diesel movie, but whatever, I wasn't going to argue with her. I can always watch it on Netflix anyway, right?"
"So like 20 minutes into this thing, I'm already about to lose it. I told Sarah that the prime rib gave me the runs and I had to go use the can. I ended up playing pinball in the lobby for an hour with a couple other guys who were also bored out of their minds."
"When I came back right at the end of the movie, Sarah was crying. 'Fucking great', I thought, 'here we go'...feeling melancholy, she turns and asks me:"
"Carl, would you choose me over your duty?"
"I was confused because I thought she meant -would I rather sit here and watch this drivel horse crap chick-flick with her, or take a shit. I responded 'Honey, I'm sorry, when duty calls, you've got to answer.' Then she starts wailing and demands I take her home. What the fuck?"
"I want to find the director of this piece of crap and punch him the face. I haven't been laid in like a month and I've completely exhausted my porn collection, I needed this."
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