Tuesday, November 2, 2010

UNDECIDED VOTER DISSUADED BY SIGN ON NEIGHBOR'S LAWN

"I can't even explain how big of an asshole my next door neighbor is." says Dickie Andrews of Brushwood Boulevard. "This guy actually called the cops on me during my Superbowl party because we were "making a racket" over here. It was like seven o'clock, and we weren't even that loud. Shit, I would have invited the prick if I knew he was gonna be such a hard on about it..." laments Andrews.

"Every year he blows all the leaves from his yard into mine, and gets all butthurt about it because he says they come from my tree. What the fuck, guy? Come on, give me a break. Then, this summer he put up a fence between our yards, except he had it installed backwards."

"I heard they call that a 'fuck you fence'. Seriously. The weird thing is, he put a gate right in the middle of it, presumably so he can blow leaves through it, or personally walk over to tell me to stop enjoying myself in my own home."

"Like I said, he's a douchebag. I hate his fucking guts. He makes me sick, and I want to move because of him."

"I don't even really pay attention to elections. I mean, who has the time? ...and not just to make it to the polls but to sift through all the bullshit. I mean, this one lies, that one only lies a little bit...who cares? I'm sick of all these attack ads. Its like a part time job to try and figure this shit out and honestly, its killing my football  buzz...but then the other day I see he put a political sign on his lawn for some guy, I can't remember who, and I knew instantly that whoever that joker was, if this guy likes him, I don't.

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