After what seemed like a nasty break up over the past few months, BP announced today that they have forgiven the United States and are ready to resume drilling it again."How many bloody times do we have to say we're sorry?" BP scoffed, noting that this is not the first time it has prematurely halted drilling due to an unpredicted eruption. "It happens to a lot of oil companies" BP claims, adding that we "should take it as a compliment."
BP also touted its magnanimous nature, as an organization that is not one to carry a grudge for making fun of it, and insisted that we give it another chance because it knows it make us happy this time. At the risk of appearing desperate and seeming like a total pushover, the United States admitted "I can't quit you, BP." and reluctantly conceded.
A ceremonious re-conciliatory drilling session broke out at that very moment, affirming that it was totally back on.
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