FACEBOOK PHOTO ALBUMS CHRONICLE WEIGHT GAIN

Jill Packer was a cute, slender, young woman at the age of eighteen when she first set up her Facebook account to keep in touch with classmates before leaving for college. She was even voted 'most likely to stay thin' her senior year of high school. So, when she put on the obligatory 'freshman fifteen (pounds)' her first year of college, she wasn't too concerned, making off hand comments like 'Ooh, I need to hit the gym...' and 'I probably shouldn't have eaten that whole gallon of ice cream'...but Jill's malevolent neglect and seemingly insatiable appetite have morphed her physique into a frumpy wad of pink dough that even her former gym teacher wouldn't fondle.

Each of Jill's Facebook photo albums depict significant periods in Jill's life. From her sorority days chugging beer with the jocks from Delta house, and her post break-up grief fueled binge-eating, to her current cake-for-every-occasion, mind-numbing desk job...Jill's gradual metamorphosis into a presumably self-loathing, sugar-filled lard-ass is painfully evident as the seasons pass.

Jill's former boyfriend, Jeff Kitchens, the one responsible in part for Jill's depression that launched her into an irreversible and shameful downward spiral of Mallomars, decided to look her up on Facebook recently.

"Eh, you know I was bored and perusing Facebook, checking out all the old tail I used to chase and I remembered that we dated.." said Kitchens. "At first I thought I had the wrong profile, but then I realized it was really her, and I was like 'Oh my God! You've gotta be fucking shitting me.' I actually broke up with her because she was already starting to get a little chunky. Jesus, did I dodge a bullet there or what?" Kitchens decided not to friend-request her.

Packer's uncanny ability to consume mass amounts of food is now rivaled by her waning metabolism, and is beginning to resemble some kind of remorseless gastropod who has abandoned all hopes for redemption. She remains deluded however, clinging to piles of jeans that will never fit her again, and rationalizing her appalling caloric intake with menial physical tasks, such as walking to the fridge. Packer's remaining friends plead with her to come to terms with reality, begging her to at least remove the horrifying public time-line on her Facebook page, chronicling her decent into obesity.