Former Alaska governor Sarah Palin is weighing options at a pivotal juncture in her career, asking herself if she should harness the momentum of her enigmatic popularity and make a bid for the presidency in 2012, or go for broke and cash in on her 'looks' while she still has them, and fulfill her girlhood dream of posing nude in Playboy magazine."It would be pretty bitchin' to be the first woman president, but it seems like a lot of work...which is kind of a bummer. I used to think I was only pretty enough for Babes & Ammo, Gash, or Alaskan Beaver magazines, but publishers are telling me that I have a window of opportunity to be Playboy material, but it is quickly vanishing." says Palin.
Palin recently became a contributor on Fox 'news' channel, a role that seems to suit her well, she claims. Political analysts agree, stating that "Viewers just want a non-offensive visage to regurgitate right-wing propaganda talking points..." but Palin sees herself in a larger light, and thinks her tits have some mileage left in them yet.
"My daughter is also considering it too" says Palin "...not the minor or the 'tard baby, that's demented. I mean my oldest one, the slut. If we were to pose together, it would mean at least 2 million, but I'm concerned she will upstage me...however, I am told they can do amazing things with airbrushing and photo shop these days."
"My daughter is also considering it too" says Palin "...not the minor or the 'tard baby, that's demented. I mean my oldest one, the slut. If we were to pose together, it would mean at least 2 million, but I'm concerned she will upstage me...however, I am told they can do amazing things with airbrushing and photo shop these days."
Her husband is opposed to the idea, saying that he does not like the idea of other men ogling nude photos of his wife and daughter and is not willing to compromise for anything less than $3 million. When asked for comment on the matter he stated "I want a new snowmobile. Fully loaded, with the hand warmers."
Palin explains her dilemma "I earned the nickname 'Sarah Barracuda' back in college, because I blew so many guys they said I was always making a sucking face like a fish, but my campaign manager was able to parlay that name recognition into a mechanism of popularity."
"I went from being a weather bunny to the governor of Alaska. I mean, it wasn't hard to dupe those rubes, but when McCain's people contacted me about being tapped for VP, I was like, 'No way!'. That pervy old fart is a Viagra induced heart attack away from me becoming the leader of the free world? My husband and I both agreed, we need to milk this cow."
"At the same time I think, Jesus Christ, if I have to sit through another interview with that cunt Katie Couric, I swear I'm gonna claw that bitch. Ugh. It's a hell of a lot easier to just take my shirt off."
Palin is still on the fence though, admitting that "...the problem with going rogue, is that you don't always know where you're going exactly."
"I went from being a weather bunny to the governor of Alaska. I mean, it wasn't hard to dupe those rubes, but when McCain's people contacted me about being tapped for VP, I was like, 'No way!'. That pervy old fart is a Viagra induced heart attack away from me becoming the leader of the free world? My husband and I both agreed, we need to milk this cow."
"At the same time I think, Jesus Christ, if I have to sit through another interview with that cunt Katie Couric, I swear I'm gonna claw that bitch. Ugh. It's a hell of a lot easier to just take my shirt off."
Palin is still on the fence though, admitting that "...the problem with going rogue, is that you don't always know where you're going exactly."
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