Fouty-five year old Greg Doolin experienced a revelation Tuesday afternoon after getting caught in a 45 minute traffic jam on the Thurbers Avenue curve near downtown Providence. Upon encountering the pile up, Doolin appraised the severity of the jam and realized it was too late to exit the highway and knew then, he would be stuck for an indefinite length of time. Doolin erupted in a flurry of obscenities, furiously pounding his steering wheel in a vein attempt to relieve his mounting rage, but only succeeded in making it worse."My kid has karate at 6, I need to get an oil change, and I haven't eaten. This fucking sucks. I have shit to do." Doolin said.
"I thought if I yelled and screamed enough I could change the situation, but I was wrong. Ironically though, while I'm in the middle of throwing this fit and banging on the dashboard, the glove box drops open and I see a joint just lying there. My teenage daughter Marissa must have left it in there by mistake when she borrowed the minivan last weekend. "
"With nothing else to do and not going anywhere, I decided to light it up. At first I didn't notice anything. Then this great song came on the radio and I started staring up at the clouds and realized what an amazingly beautiful day it was. I was still pretty eager to get home for supper but I figured the oil change could wait and I really didn't want to take Jimmy to karate tonight anyway."
"If it wasn't for that joint, I might still be taking things seriously right now. Eventually, the traffic jam cleared and I got home. Cheryl made these kick ass meatballs and I had like three plates. Later, Jimmy and I played video games all night, and then I got to bed early and got a great night's sleep."
Doolin attributes his new found serenity to his teenage daughter's forgetfulness, and after a shameless masquerade of parental hypocrisy, he confiscated the rest of Marissa's stash, claiming he was going to flush it down the toilet. However, after thirty minutes in the bathroom, Doolin forgot to flush and exited with a pleasant far-off look in his eye.
Doolin now sports a fresh perspective, a laid back attitude and says "I almost hope I hit traffic again tomorrow".
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